I am pleased to report that doing crashes and moving shower time has helped with the anxiety and wind-down again. So on the shopping list is lavender airwick refills, lavender soap and lotion, and foam soap. All of these work for calming anxiety in Noah.
Noah is awake longer than I would like, because I would like to have a normal bedtime. However, I suppose having to stay up a bit later and watch some late night TV isn’t the worst thing in the world. (That is being smacked and screamed at by the autism-monster). If only I could train my body to make the morning adjustment and sleep later, but know I wake up between 5:30-6:15 every day.
Ah..a sigh of relief…for now.
One thing I can say for certain, Noah when not the autism-monster, is the most polite and obedient child. Because of that, it becomes obvious when he is not in control, he is just not himself. Behavior is always a symptom of something, the test is finding out what it is.
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sanity- See you in September
It is the way of it, School is out and Noah will be challenging me as he is suppose to do, all summer long. Writing for me is not the luxury that is use to be about ten years ago, it is now a necessity because it is what is going to salvage us financially. So sometimes I get a bit tense about trying to complete a deadline or get work done, promote my book
, find more work, network etc when I am under constant interruption. I do not attempt to work all day when he is home, but I do think working for one or two hours out of the day is not too much to ask for. Heck, I would skip it all together if it wasn’t a necessity.Noah will at least be spending some time down Joe’s parent’s house throughout the summer, a few days each month will give me a few days to try to complete the entire months work. But, this is the best it can be, since I cannot afford a baby sitter, and I do not know anyone willing to watch Noah for free.
Noah has come a long way from the head banging, non-verbal, freakazoid that he was a few years ago. He still scripts and self-talks, he still smacks himself when he is upset, beeps and makes peculiar sounds. He still does not understand many social cues, or a lot of concepts, he can be found running or sitting naked in the house because he doesn’t understand ‘shame’. He is impulsive and will often do something while he is asking you, and when it is not something he should be doing, this can be a problem.
However he does ask a lot more questions than he use to, and he even makes more comments about things that aren’t just about stuff he wants. His poor sleep patterns have improved, where he is getting to sleep by 10 instead of after midnight, but 10 is still pretty late when you get up before 6 am, and have no time to yourself or with anyone. Once he is asleep it’s time to sleep if I want to be healthy, but sometimes I work so I can keep the electric on.
I know he could be much worse off, the work we have done is really remarkable, and I am grateful for what we have accomplished and the good people who have come into our lives to help. Summer is bittersweet though, since we can’t really go out and do things it’s just a lot of time trapped in the house, trying to make the best of things, waiting for September when there will be peace in the noise, and quiet back in the house just for those few hours......and he is finishing his shower early (sigh)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Make the World a Better Place by Being Thankful
Make it work people.” Tim Gun from Project Runway
April Showers Bring May Flowers
Today I just had to vent, because I believe the world is a better place if we choose to see it that way.
One thing I have noticed throughout my life is the fact that no matter what, people will complain. They complain when we have a republican person or persons in office, they complain when it’s the democrats in charge. Proving that no one way is the right way. They complain when we are being taxed, and they complain when we are not receiving more taxes and cut expenses. People complain when it’s hot, or cold, when it’s raining or snowing, and I am waiting for the day someone complains that the sun is shining just a bit too brightly.
Anyone can complain, complaining is easy. All it takes is responding to an initial feeling of discomfort. A reaction to something that may or may not be happening, a fear, a worry and overall an unhealthy way to live. We all have ability to complain, and we all do complain. How often we complain and about what is a personal choice and also based on our own systems of how we respond to stimulus.
Not complaining results from taking a few moments to adjust to the initial discomfort of something, thinking about it and processing those feelings out, looking at perhaps the good side of the complaint. I have a headache, maybe I didn’t drink enough water, now you are acting on your dehydration instead of whining that you have a headache.
Snow allows for Snow Ball Fights with Those you Love
However if you have tons of headaches, and you have ran the gamut of things that can cause it , you should see a doctor for maybe you have a brain tumor, and that would be something worth complaining about, especially if you have none or crappy insurance. Which could also mean, you will not be able to see your doctor because some people out there think you shouldn’t have insurance because they don’t want it? This is also something to complain about.
Doing something to counteract the things we are complaining about is actually much harder. Because it requires ourselves to actually do something. We might have to think about things that hey, don’t involve us directly! How uncomfortable!
Golden Retrievers Rarely if Ever Complain, and are Awesome Dogs
The only good thing about complaining is the fact that when you’re done, if you spent enough time on it that is, you will find a solution to what ails you. And if you do not, then you probably are not grateful for anything anyone does for you, ever.
I really fail to grasp why so many people wish to not live fully in reality, it is the only thing that is real. I do get it is fun to sometimes escape reality, but that isn’t real, and yes there are many drug on the market that can alter ones reality if they wish. But if you ask anyone who has to take it, they may complain about that too. Point being you may get what you wish for, to find out you don't really want it.
Is it really so hard to find the good in things? Snow sucks to shovel and drive in it, but its fun to play with, it’s pretty; it’s neat to see a pile of it fall in to your back yard from the sky. It’s real! It leads to snow angels, snowboarding, skiing, and hot cocoa; it’s not just shoveling and driving.
People complain a lot of about the weather, and about money, and how they are not satisfied with either. When really we do not control all of either of those things. Sure we can control much of what we consume; we can drive less if possible, but don’t control the price of gas, or milk. You can use less, but you still need so much to function. We can control whether we are going out in the weather, if we are driving or walking. We can put on our heater and our air conditioners, solutions to things that bug us to make it bearable, and the fact is they already exist…so why complain? Complain about something that doesn’t exist so maybe someone will make it, maybe you!
From now on I say when people are complaining, just ask them what they think is the solution, what is the answer. How can they make the sun come out when it’s raining? I want to see them balance the budget! You go find a solution to healthcare woes, you carry that burden of millions on your shoulders. Try that on for a while, maybe you will find you don’t have so much to complain about after all.
My Son's Autism made being at the Beach Difficult, but he Worked Through it
I realize my rant about complaining is a paradox, and I am not suggesting people never ever vent. But I certainly would not recommend living your life around it, or complaining about things that have yet to happen
Don’t like what I had to say? Don’t waste your breath, I am not listening. I have dogs to play with, gardens to tend, people to love and words to write.
April Showers Bring May Flowers
Today I just had to vent, because I believe the world is a better place if we choose to see it that way.
One thing I have noticed throughout my life is the fact that no matter what, people will complain. They complain when we have a republican person or persons in office, they complain when it’s the democrats in charge. Proving that no one way is the right way. They complain when we are being taxed, and they complain when we are not receiving more taxes and cut expenses. People complain when it’s hot, or cold, when it’s raining or snowing, and I am waiting for the day someone complains that the sun is shining just a bit too brightly.
Anyone can complain, complaining is easy. All it takes is responding to an initial feeling of discomfort. A reaction to something that may or may not be happening, a fear, a worry and overall an unhealthy way to live. We all have ability to complain, and we all do complain. How often we complain and about what is a personal choice and also based on our own systems of how we respond to stimulus.
Not complaining results from taking a few moments to adjust to the initial discomfort of something, thinking about it and processing those feelings out, looking at perhaps the good side of the complaint. I have a headache, maybe I didn’t drink enough water, now you are acting on your dehydration instead of whining that you have a headache.
However if you have tons of headaches, and you have ran the gamut of things that can cause it , you should see a doctor for maybe you have a brain tumor, and that would be something worth complaining about, especially if you have none or crappy insurance. Which could also mean, you will not be able to see your doctor because some people out there think you shouldn’t have insurance because they don’t want it? This is also something to complain about.
Doing something to counteract the things we are complaining about is actually much harder. Because it requires ourselves to actually do something. We might have to think about things that hey, don’t involve us directly! How uncomfortable!
The only good thing about complaining is the fact that when you’re done, if you spent enough time on it that is, you will find a solution to what ails you. And if you do not, then you probably are not grateful for anything anyone does for you, ever.
I really fail to grasp why so many people wish to not live fully in reality, it is the only thing that is real. I do get it is fun to sometimes escape reality, but that isn’t real, and yes there are many drug on the market that can alter ones reality if they wish. But if you ask anyone who has to take it, they may complain about that too. Point being you may get what you wish for, to find out you don't really want it.
Is it really so hard to find the good in things? Snow sucks to shovel and drive in it, but its fun to play with, it’s pretty; it’s neat to see a pile of it fall in to your back yard from the sky. It’s real! It leads to snow angels, snowboarding, skiing, and hot cocoa; it’s not just shoveling and driving.
People complain a lot of about the weather, and about money, and how they are not satisfied with either. When really we do not control all of either of those things. Sure we can control much of what we consume; we can drive less if possible, but don’t control the price of gas, or milk. You can use less, but you still need so much to function. We can control whether we are going out in the weather, if we are driving or walking. We can put on our heater and our air conditioners, solutions to things that bug us to make it bearable, and the fact is they already exist…so why complain? Complain about something that doesn’t exist so maybe someone will make it, maybe you!
From now on I say when people are complaining, just ask them what they think is the solution, what is the answer. How can they make the sun come out when it’s raining? I want to see them balance the budget! You go find a solution to healthcare woes, you carry that burden of millions on your shoulders. Try that on for a while, maybe you will find you don’t have so much to complain about after all.
I realize my rant about complaining is a paradox, and I am not suggesting people never ever vent. But I certainly would not recommend living your life around it, or complaining about things that have yet to happen
Don’t like what I had to say? Don’t waste your breath, I am not listening. I have dogs to play with, gardens to tend, people to love and words to write.
Monday, March 15, 2010
5 Tips for Taking A Child on the Autism Spectrum to Walt Disney World
5 Tips for Taking A Child on the Autism Spectrum to Walt Disney World
Noah the Scientist at the end of the Imagination ride in Epcot
Traveling on vacation with children with special needs can be a very overwhelming idea and task. But with a lot of preparation and research, even with the challenges of Autism a family can have more fun than they could have imagined. This was the case for us this past December, I have composed here my top five tips ( full article including 5 more additional tips coming to a newstand near you)
1-Obtain a mobility pass, this is basically a fast pass, where the person with the disability as well as their party ( up to eight people) do not have to wait in the main line or wait to get the fast pass. Pass holders proceed in the fast pass return and show the Disney employee / cast member the mobility pass which works as a fast pass. This pass is obtained at guest services of the first park visited. Cast members from Disney do not need “proof of disability”, but the child needs to be present. However, bringing a doctor’s note, IEP coversheet with disability or other identification may be needed if the cast member is in training and a manager is not around.
2- Make restaurant reservations months in advance with a Disney agent, or on the Disney vacation site. This is an especially important aspect when dealing with food allergies and specific diets. Disney Chefs are very accommodating and can make almost anything with the proper notice. Reservations can be made six months in advance and should be made as far in advance as possible. The week of the guests trip a phone call should be made to confirm everything. When dining the chef will come out to the table to go over the menu and take requests. This also cuts down on wait time. All locations that serve food have informational packets with the ingredients used in the food sold. Menus are available on line at allears.net
3-Travel at times when the parks have lower attendance. The parks are very over stimulating for everyone. Traveling when the parks are less crowded cuts down on wait times everywhere, crowd noise and unexpected bumping into other people. Disney is typically lighter in attendance the week before Labor day through October 1st, late November through December before winter break, and again the second week of January through the first week of February
4- Be flexible -Traveling with a child on the spectrum is challenging, and flexibility for all involved is key to success. Plan on taking a lot of breaks, and to not be in the park all day. Fortunately the parks are loaded with Play areas and all of the resorts in the area have pools.
5- Be open to positive changes, Disney’s tag line is “a place where dreams come true” and the perspective of many parents that have taken their children there with autism is just that. Parents have reported a variety of improvements in their children after a trip to Disney World such as the child being more engaging , being able to handle waiting a bit longer in lines to even drinking out of cup when previously not being able to. A lot of patience, love and a little pixie dust can go a long way.
Noah and his cousin holding hands, something he never did before this trip. It is a magic kingdom!
Read more about it
Traveling on vacation with children with special needs can be a very overwhelming idea and task. But with a lot of preparation and research, even with the challenges of Autism a family can have more fun than they could have imagined. This was the case for us this past December, I have composed here my top five tips ( full article including 5 more additional tips coming to a newstand near you)
1-Obtain a mobility pass, this is basically a fast pass, where the person with the disability as well as their party ( up to eight people) do not have to wait in the main line or wait to get the fast pass. Pass holders proceed in the fast pass return and show the Disney employee / cast member the mobility pass which works as a fast pass. This pass is obtained at guest services of the first park visited. Cast members from Disney do not need “proof of disability”, but the child needs to be present. However, bringing a doctor’s note, IEP coversheet with disability or other identification may be needed if the cast member is in training and a manager is not around.
2- Make restaurant reservations months in advance with a Disney agent, or on the Disney vacation site. This is an especially important aspect when dealing with food allergies and specific diets. Disney Chefs are very accommodating and can make almost anything with the proper notice. Reservations can be made six months in advance and should be made as far in advance as possible. The week of the guests trip a phone call should be made to confirm everything. When dining the chef will come out to the table to go over the menu and take requests. This also cuts down on wait time. All locations that serve food have informational packets with the ingredients used in the food sold. Menus are available on line at allears.net
3-Travel at times when the parks have lower attendance. The parks are very over stimulating for everyone. Traveling when the parks are less crowded cuts down on wait times everywhere, crowd noise and unexpected bumping into other people. Disney is typically lighter in attendance the week before Labor day through October 1st, late November through December before winter break, and again the second week of January through the first week of February
4- Be flexible -Traveling with a child on the spectrum is challenging, and flexibility for all involved is key to success. Plan on taking a lot of breaks, and to not be in the park all day. Fortunately the parks are loaded with Play areas and all of the resorts in the area have pools.
5- Be open to positive changes, Disney’s tag line is “a place where dreams come true” and the perspective of many parents that have taken their children there with autism is just that. Parents have reported a variety of improvements in their children after a trip to Disney World such as the child being more engaging , being able to handle waiting a bit longer in lines to even drinking out of cup when previously not being able to. A lot of patience, love and a little pixie dust can go a long way.
Read more about it
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Noah and the Bus
Noah and the Bus
First of all I am overall grateful for the bus that picks Noah up for school every day. It is usually less stressful than the stressful drop off system. Where you are driving your car through a too small parking lot where people are shouting to have the kids jump out of the cars. They need to keep the line moving, but with all the cars and people and they shouting, Noah was stressed every morning, and getting him it the car was a daily problem. The bus is normally fine however, when something snaps in his mind, all bets are off.
Today was one of them mornings; the bus is running late as usual, Noah was exercising with the Wii Fit, and not really eating all of his breakfast when he began to get frustrated with every activity. Because he could not do it, the Wii fit basically is designed to sense your center of balance, and his is always off. So on days that, he is more unbalanced than usual, it is way off, and will result in him not being able to complete the tasks. So this can compound two problems, the problem that he is now frustrated in what he isn’t accomplishing, and the fact that he is unbalanced to begin with, which is the actual cause of his frustration being out of his control.
The unfortunate aspect, in the morning rush, is you don’t see it coming, and frankly a lot of the time you do not see it coming. There can be tells, but on this morning there were few to none, none that I saw at least while getting his bag and lunch packed and getting him ready.
The bus pulls up and is honking, Noah is still trying to complete the obstacle course, and he is stuck on it, he needs to finish it, so telling him you are giving him 20 laptops if he gets on the bus will not matter at this point. So I have to just turn it off. He then starts to run through the house and I have to catch him and get him to the door. He will not put on his jacket, his shoes, or carry his bags. I have to carry all of this and him to the bus; only, it is not possible to carry all of these things at the same time. He takes off and I get his stuff to the bus while he just runs around the yard refusing to go to school.
The aide on the bus can’t help, not allowed to leave the post, why they do not have an additional aide I imagine is due to funding. So this leaves him and me at a standoff in the yard. There is nothing that will get him on the bus, I cannot threaten or bribe. I only can catch, run faster and scoop him up and put him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I do this, and put him on the bus, with no shoes, and no jacket. The jacket fell off in the house, he wants it, but I don’t go get it because all of the kids on the bus are waiting, they have issues too.
It’s a terrible time when it is happening because of the stress, anxiety involved, and the fact there is no patience in the adults involved either. They want Noah on to get to the next stop, they probably deal with this type of stuff all the time, and it is not a daily occurrence here, but it happens enough. But the point being, there is no help, even if you’re asking or pleading, or even just asking for what they think you should do. They have no suggestions, and they do not know what to do.
The most frustrating aspect is there is no currency to work with, in these particular moments. Children generally behave based on consequences of their actions, both good and bad. And when his mind snaps like this, there is no scale, no consequence that is high enough to make him comply. There is nothing that can be taken away or given to make his mind snap out of the fight or flight response. So the only thing that can be done is to physically catch him and put him on the bus. There is no preparation that can help, it is not as if I can decide to take away the exercise or the computer or the games, they are not the problem anyway. And the alternative is to just have him sit and wait for the bus, but having done this in the past, I learned this will only bring more anxiety since the bus does not show up at the same time. And even if it did, there would inevitably be some kid somewhere having a bad day that will delay the bus.
So the only thing I can do is put up with it and accept that some days this will be the case. After it’s over I need to decompress and center myself, and train to just run faster.
Follow my blog on blogger - http://christinadagnelli.blogspot.com/
See our website to purchase a copy of my book
http://crustyproductions.books.officelive.com/default.aspx
Or become a fan of our face book page - http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Little-Squares-with-Colors-A-Different-way-to-look-at-Autism/264272518793?v=info&ref=ts
First of all I am overall grateful for the bus that picks Noah up for school every day. It is usually less stressful than the stressful drop off system. Where you are driving your car through a too small parking lot where people are shouting to have the kids jump out of the cars. They need to keep the line moving, but with all the cars and people and they shouting, Noah was stressed every morning, and getting him it the car was a daily problem. The bus is normally fine however, when something snaps in his mind, all bets are off.
Today was one of them mornings; the bus is running late as usual, Noah was exercising with the Wii Fit, and not really eating all of his breakfast when he began to get frustrated with every activity. Because he could not do it, the Wii fit basically is designed to sense your center of balance, and his is always off. So on days that, he is more unbalanced than usual, it is way off, and will result in him not being able to complete the tasks. So this can compound two problems, the problem that he is now frustrated in what he isn’t accomplishing, and the fact that he is unbalanced to begin with, which is the actual cause of his frustration being out of his control.
The unfortunate aspect, in the morning rush, is you don’t see it coming, and frankly a lot of the time you do not see it coming. There can be tells, but on this morning there were few to none, none that I saw at least while getting his bag and lunch packed and getting him ready.
The bus pulls up and is honking, Noah is still trying to complete the obstacle course, and he is stuck on it, he needs to finish it, so telling him you are giving him 20 laptops if he gets on the bus will not matter at this point. So I have to just turn it off. He then starts to run through the house and I have to catch him and get him to the door. He will not put on his jacket, his shoes, or carry his bags. I have to carry all of this and him to the bus; only, it is not possible to carry all of these things at the same time. He takes off and I get his stuff to the bus while he just runs around the yard refusing to go to school.
The aide on the bus can’t help, not allowed to leave the post, why they do not have an additional aide I imagine is due to funding. So this leaves him and me at a standoff in the yard. There is nothing that will get him on the bus, I cannot threaten or bribe. I only can catch, run faster and scoop him up and put him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I do this, and put him on the bus, with no shoes, and no jacket. The jacket fell off in the house, he wants it, but I don’t go get it because all of the kids on the bus are waiting, they have issues too.
It’s a terrible time when it is happening because of the stress, anxiety involved, and the fact there is no patience in the adults involved either. They want Noah on to get to the next stop, they probably deal with this type of stuff all the time, and it is not a daily occurrence here, but it happens enough. But the point being, there is no help, even if you’re asking or pleading, or even just asking for what they think you should do. They have no suggestions, and they do not know what to do.
The most frustrating aspect is there is no currency to work with, in these particular moments. Children generally behave based on consequences of their actions, both good and bad. And when his mind snaps like this, there is no scale, no consequence that is high enough to make him comply. There is nothing that can be taken away or given to make his mind snap out of the fight or flight response. So the only thing that can be done is to physically catch him and put him on the bus. There is no preparation that can help, it is not as if I can decide to take away the exercise or the computer or the games, they are not the problem anyway. And the alternative is to just have him sit and wait for the bus, but having done this in the past, I learned this will only bring more anxiety since the bus does not show up at the same time. And even if it did, there would inevitably be some kid somewhere having a bad day that will delay the bus.
So the only thing I can do is put up with it and accept that some days this will be the case. After it’s over I need to decompress and center myself, and train to just run faster.
Follow my blog on blogger - http://christinadagnelli.blogspot.com/
See our website to purchase a copy of my book
http://crustyproductions.books.officelive.com/default.aspx
Or become a fan of our face book page - http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Little-Squares-with-Colors-A-Different-way-to-look-at-Autism/264272518793?v=info&ref=ts
Friday, February 26, 2010
Part three - Communication Build Up
Communication Build Up
The number one challenge with children with Autism is communication. Anxiety and Sensory issues are a huge component also, but communication still reigns as the number one problem, because without it, the other two are bigger problems because now the child on top of it all cannot express to you why they are behaving the way that they are.
Communication problems are in more than one area. There is the fact that many children are not verbal, where they have few or no words, or they have a very limited vocabulary. Only children with Aspergers have a large vocabulary, sometimes even greater than typical children. But the communication issue does not stop just at the lack of words. It also is the inability to read body language, facial expressions, and the concept of personal space, the little nuances we use to convey meaning, and the biggest one that the world exists beyond ourselves.
Verbal ability is the easier one to teach, because you can show pictures of objects and activities and drill these ideas and pictures into a child’s head. This is where ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) succeeds; it has been proven to dramatically increase a child’s vocabulary. We used it for 2 years and it greatly increased Noah’s vocabulary of less than 20 words, to that of a typical 5 year-old ( when he was 6) He still struggles in this area, because the English language does not always make literal sense.
Excerpt from Little Squares with Colors: a Different way to look at Autism
I have explained what a figure of speech is, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. So I find it amusing most of the time. When I get a song stuck in my head Noah wants to see it, and now he offers to help rinse it out. Now that he has more language he can expand this a bit. Saying that it’s a disc in my head and we need water.
I first notice the literal thinking, when I teach him to wash his own hair.
“Ok, now you have the shampoo on your head, so put your hands on your head”
Noah does this while standing in the shower.
“Okay, now move your arms back and forth.”
He drops his arms to his side and swings them back and forth. After this I am more careful when explaining things, than I already was. I am especially concerned with explaining what would happen if he got shampoo in his eyes. I think it’s best to leave the burning part out, because I have the image of him seeing flames shooting from his eyes. And if he thought that, he would never use shampoo again.
I still have to watch the figures of speech; I really am surprised how many there are: Daddy’s on a roll! I am so hungry I could eat a horse!
Sometimes it’s best to not say anything.
The literal thinking is a later obstacle, what comes first is teaching a child the words for the things in their environment, and teaching them about their emotions, which is a very difficult task.
A Picture is worth a thousand words
Pictures are your friend in autism if your child is visual, which a great many of them are. Take pictures of everything your child interacts with on a regular basis, including the people in your life. Pictures are used to teach what an apple is, and who Aunt Jenny is or Uncle Mark. Noah every day had to go through a pile of cards with everyone pictures on it to memorize their faces with their name. Either by stating the name of the person in the picture, or by being told a name and he would have to touch the corresponding photo. Pictures can also be sequenced to teach an activity such as how to wash your hands. We also used pictures to teach Noah how to get ready for bed. The pictures were taken of his bathroom, the bathtub, sink, toilet, pictures of him washing his hands, drying them, turning off the TV, reading a story, and being tucked in. He would remove each picture after we did the task and placed in a bin at the bottom of the board. Then I would replace them the next day, you can do this for just about everything. And you do it, until one day, your child starts to do the tasks by your verbal prompt as opposed to the picture. I remember when I finally could but bedtime, to bed, such a feeling of satisfaction. Of course getting him to STAY in bed was a whole other issue, and I will save that for a different entry.
Emotions were harder to teach, he memorized the words from looking at the same pictures of people smiling, or looking angry, even bored. We had pictures of him also looking angry, bored, tired, happy, sad, and he did memorize the words, but I couldn’t get him to get the emotions. Not until I videoed them, I learned he was able to absorb the emotions from TV from one day watching the movie Homeward Bound. Near the end of the film when the pets are reunited after being separated its very overwhelming with joy and tears, and Noah, the man of few words started to cry. But it gave me the idea to make videos of him for him to watch. So we made lots of videos of Noah, and he learned to connect the feeling the video gave him, with being there also.
Patience is a virtue, and good teachers are saints
Teaching communication to children on the spectrum though goes in tandem with understanding the other two factors, anxiety and sensory issues. This is why I wrote about them in this blog first, because you have to understand these issues will influence how successful any learning will be. The best success we have had was when we understood this fact, utilizing small sessions with in the session. Letting him work with drills for short periods, and when he seemed fidgety, restless, needing to stim or just getting very frustrated it was time for a sensory break. And after an hour or so of work, a period of quiet alone time for him, which gave time for myself and the therapist to go over what we just accomplished.
Unfortunately science and therapists have not yet come up with a proven strategy to teach “theory of mind” (the ability to know things happen outside of your mind) or all of the smaller subtitles that come with communications, those things we take for granted. When we are tired and maybe are not interested in doing something, or when we are excited and want someone to share in that joy, these types of subtitles just elude autistics, and behavior therapy can be used to help control the more extreme emotions of the child, and the frustrations. But so far, learning personal space and concepts like it are more trained into the child as opposed to where they come naturally. And because there are so many, and we are all different, it is a nearly impossible task to expect people on the spectrum to “get something” that does not come naturally to them. It is no different than expecting a diabetic to just make their own insulin. But for now, there are no injections that can be given to a person that lacks this communication skill. There are dietary interventions that do help with this area and I will be covering them in the near future.
All you can do is your best, be tolerant, patient, and do not take anything personally. We all can work on our communication skills, children without them teach us how important our job is to teach them, and also how to better communicate with others. They also teach others who do naturally have the ability to communicate how fortunate they are, and maybe that will help encourage more bravery in those that lack it.
C. Dagnelli Author of Little Squares with Colors: A Different way to look at Autism
http://www.crustyproductions.books.officelive.com/
Follow Blog – http://www.christinadagnelli.blogspot.com/
The number one challenge with children with Autism is communication. Anxiety and Sensory issues are a huge component also, but communication still reigns as the number one problem, because without it, the other two are bigger problems because now the child on top of it all cannot express to you why they are behaving the way that they are.
Communication problems are in more than one area. There is the fact that many children are not verbal, where they have few or no words, or they have a very limited vocabulary. Only children with Aspergers have a large vocabulary, sometimes even greater than typical children. But the communication issue does not stop just at the lack of words. It also is the inability to read body language, facial expressions, and the concept of personal space, the little nuances we use to convey meaning, and the biggest one that the world exists beyond ourselves.
Verbal ability is the easier one to teach, because you can show pictures of objects and activities and drill these ideas and pictures into a child’s head. This is where ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) succeeds; it has been proven to dramatically increase a child’s vocabulary. We used it for 2 years and it greatly increased Noah’s vocabulary of less than 20 words, to that of a typical 5 year-old ( when he was 6) He still struggles in this area, because the English language does not always make literal sense.
Excerpt from Little Squares with Colors: a Different way to look at Autism
I have explained what a figure of speech is, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. So I find it amusing most of the time. When I get a song stuck in my head Noah wants to see it, and now he offers to help rinse it out. Now that he has more language he can expand this a bit. Saying that it’s a disc in my head and we need water.
I first notice the literal thinking, when I teach him to wash his own hair.
“Ok, now you have the shampoo on your head, so put your hands on your head”
Noah does this while standing in the shower.
“Okay, now move your arms back and forth.”
He drops his arms to his side and swings them back and forth. After this I am more careful when explaining things, than I already was. I am especially concerned with explaining what would happen if he got shampoo in his eyes. I think it’s best to leave the burning part out, because I have the image of him seeing flames shooting from his eyes. And if he thought that, he would never use shampoo again.
I still have to watch the figures of speech; I really am surprised how many there are: Daddy’s on a roll! I am so hungry I could eat a horse!
Sometimes it’s best to not say anything.
The literal thinking is a later obstacle, what comes first is teaching a child the words for the things in their environment, and teaching them about their emotions, which is a very difficult task.
A Picture is worth a thousand words
Pictures are your friend in autism if your child is visual, which a great many of them are. Take pictures of everything your child interacts with on a regular basis, including the people in your life. Pictures are used to teach what an apple is, and who Aunt Jenny is or Uncle Mark. Noah every day had to go through a pile of cards with everyone pictures on it to memorize their faces with their name. Either by stating the name of the person in the picture, or by being told a name and he would have to touch the corresponding photo. Pictures can also be sequenced to teach an activity such as how to wash your hands. We also used pictures to teach Noah how to get ready for bed. The pictures were taken of his bathroom, the bathtub, sink, toilet, pictures of him washing his hands, drying them, turning off the TV, reading a story, and being tucked in. He would remove each picture after we did the task and placed in a bin at the bottom of the board. Then I would replace them the next day, you can do this for just about everything. And you do it, until one day, your child starts to do the tasks by your verbal prompt as opposed to the picture. I remember when I finally could but bedtime, to bed, such a feeling of satisfaction. Of course getting him to STAY in bed was a whole other issue, and I will save that for a different entry.
Emotions were harder to teach, he memorized the words from looking at the same pictures of people smiling, or looking angry, even bored. We had pictures of him also looking angry, bored, tired, happy, sad, and he did memorize the words, but I couldn’t get him to get the emotions. Not until I videoed them, I learned he was able to absorb the emotions from TV from one day watching the movie Homeward Bound. Near the end of the film when the pets are reunited after being separated its very overwhelming with joy and tears, and Noah, the man of few words started to cry. But it gave me the idea to make videos of him for him to watch. So we made lots of videos of Noah, and he learned to connect the feeling the video gave him, with being there also.
Patience is a virtue, and good teachers are saints
Teaching communication to children on the spectrum though goes in tandem with understanding the other two factors, anxiety and sensory issues. This is why I wrote about them in this blog first, because you have to understand these issues will influence how successful any learning will be. The best success we have had was when we understood this fact, utilizing small sessions with in the session. Letting him work with drills for short periods, and when he seemed fidgety, restless, needing to stim or just getting very frustrated it was time for a sensory break. And after an hour or so of work, a period of quiet alone time for him, which gave time for myself and the therapist to go over what we just accomplished.
Unfortunately science and therapists have not yet come up with a proven strategy to teach “theory of mind” (the ability to know things happen outside of your mind) or all of the smaller subtitles that come with communications, those things we take for granted. When we are tired and maybe are not interested in doing something, or when we are excited and want someone to share in that joy, these types of subtitles just elude autistics, and behavior therapy can be used to help control the more extreme emotions of the child, and the frustrations. But so far, learning personal space and concepts like it are more trained into the child as opposed to where they come naturally. And because there are so many, and we are all different, it is a nearly impossible task to expect people on the spectrum to “get something” that does not come naturally to them. It is no different than expecting a diabetic to just make their own insulin. But for now, there are no injections that can be given to a person that lacks this communication skill. There are dietary interventions that do help with this area and I will be covering them in the near future.
All you can do is your best, be tolerant, patient, and do not take anything personally. We all can work on our communication skills, children without them teach us how important our job is to teach them, and also how to better communicate with others. They also teach others who do naturally have the ability to communicate how fortunate they are, and maybe that will help encourage more bravery in those that lack it.
C. Dagnelli Author of Little Squares with Colors: A Different way to look at Autism
http://www.crustyproductions.books.officelive.com/
Follow Blog – http://www.christinadagnelli.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Anxiety - You probably think this article is about you :)
One of the biggest challenges with Autism is how anxiety plays a part in the disorder. Anxiety is something we all feel from time to time, it exists to keep us safe. This is why we have a fight or flight response, for if we didn’t we would be eaten by animals. We wouldn’t know when we were in danger, so it is a necessity, but like so many things, too much of it is crippling and affects the person who has it and therefore those around them. The fight or flight response is triggered frequently or even continuously in very bad cases, and the person feels threatened and endanger, even if consciously they do not realize it. It can be presented as a feeling in your stomach, sweating, heart palpations, feelings of dread, feeling like you are having a heart attack or are going to die. It can just be a nagging feeling, and for children they usually do not have the vocabulary to describe any of these feelings so it just “freaks them out”.
People who have too much anxiety are often disagreeable, scared, can be seen as lazy (because the procrastinate on things that cause anxiety), think people are out to get them so they are more argumentative or if they do not have a outgoing personality, they think all of the same things that someone who is argumentative but do not share them with you. In serious cases these people sometimes cannot leave their homes, cannot go to certain events like concerts or to the movies where there are lots of people or too much darkness. They do not drive or avoid it whenever possible. They are afraid to take what would be considered normal risks, they get stuck in their own lives routines, they do not progress forward and often feel they are overwhelmed and chasing their own proverbial tails. All of us have had some of these issues temporarily, but for people with the disorder this is their normal lives, more than it is not. It affects the function of their lives on a day to day basis.
In children it would be seen in more simpler terms since they do not own cars and drive, they do not do the grocery shopping, they are not making huge decisions, but they do go shopping, the do ride in cars, they do make simple decisions, like deciding what they want to do next, or what movie to watch. So it affects their daily lives, and getting a hold of it now is important or their lives will be as mentioned above.
So how do you deal with the anxiety monster that maybe in your home? When it is people you know that you don’t live with it is actually harder. Because of the fine line of being caring and enabling the problem, they will often not see your attempts to help them in the moment, and of course it makes it difficult when you must watch everything you say. But in your own home with your child at least there you are the boss.
Lavender, lavender, lavender!!
Can’t stress the value of it enough. We have sachets of lavender, lavender sticks and incense, candles, and an Airwick nightlight in Noah’s room that constantly releases the lavender. We also use moisturizers, and bath products that are infused with lavender, never underestimate the power of scent!
Kava Kava and Passion flower, both are natural extracts that can be added to teas and drinks that curb over active anxiety, sometimes this is more for those who do not have the disorder. Because people who have anxiety issues are like sponges, they can sense your mood very easily and even if you are not acting out yourself, they can tell when you are nervous. So keeping yourself in check is very important if you want to have some peace. Also having a healthy diet and regular activity is very important to curbing anxiety. The same types of things we all should do so we too are healthy.
Water therapy
Water is charged with negative IONS , much like the beach and the mountains are charged with them. And people who have medical issues are sometimes recommended to live in these types of locations because of the powerful effects of negative ions. Think about the last time you were stressed and then went to the beach. Chances are you felt significantly better once there. Water has this effect also, so taking longer and more frequent baths and showers help reset the system. Water activities, water parks, swimming, and even just playing in the sink a bit are all ways to use water therapy. Nowadays there are indoor pools and water parks so there is help all year round. If it was cheaper, it would be better, but you have to do what you have to do.
Lower your expectations
For children, it may take them longer to transition from one activity to another. This is because of the feeling of what is going to happen rising in them. Just be patient, let it take a bit longer, you have to pick your battles in autism. This is one that teaches the teachers to be more patient. Because NOTHING in life is about getting what we want when we want it, so that applies to every one of us. Not just the children we are teaching. You should have expectations, but do not set them so high that you will be disappointed and therefore your child is now being filled with even more anxiety. They still have bedtimes, chores, and homework, but your expectations of when these things happen needs to be flexible. Then they learn what that means so they can apply it to their lives also.
The sad part about anxiety is that people who suffer from it a lot of time can wind up in lower paying, less glamorous jobs that do not require an education. For getting a higher education is a very difficult task for someone who suffers with anxiety. All of the choices, the work to be done at the same time, the travel, all the new experiences alone can overwhelm the person. And often, these jobs are headed by people who also lack some kind of skill in their life or motivation. And they can exploit the person’s anxiety, because often people who have anxiety feel they are always wrong. A poor manager may yell at an employee in front of customers because this makes them feel better about themselves, because the person they are yelling at isn’t going to stand up for themselves in a way that will matter to the manager. They are embarrassing them, or trying too. This is why many anxiety suffers seem so defensive because they are sick of feeling that way so they lash out on whoever they are close to. It does not make it ok either, if you are being accosted by a friend or family member that has anxiety. You are not their problem; you are not their punching bag. You do not have take it, just tolerate it as much as possible and never ever take it to heart or personally. Because chances are whatever the case maybe that they are taking out on you is off, and not your problem and not anything you really need to hear about. But it is what it is; you are a bigger person by not holding that against them. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, but figure that you deserve more breaks and pampering to yourself for being that hero.
The bottom line
If your child is suffering from anxiety it is your place to do something about it, if it is a grown adult then it is their choice to do something about it. Grown adults can fall into two different categories, either they feel they can’t do anything about it, or they truly can’t do anything and they need to be institutionalized. Chances are they just do not believe they can do anything, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, then sick out medical help, support from groups on the internet, read books. talk about it!! If they are so far gone they do not know what a computer is, or how to make a phone call or their name or whether they are on planet earth or not, they need professional round the clock care. Because we all have it, we all have troubles; we all have things we need to improve. We also all have the ability to choose to fix and work on these things. Patience, tolerance, flexibility, and peace within you are the biggest arsenals against anxiety, and a little lavender wouldn’t hurt either.
C.Dagnelli author of Little Squares with Colors : A Different way to Look at Autism
People who have too much anxiety are often disagreeable, scared, can be seen as lazy (because the procrastinate on things that cause anxiety), think people are out to get them so they are more argumentative or if they do not have a outgoing personality, they think all of the same things that someone who is argumentative but do not share them with you. In serious cases these people sometimes cannot leave their homes, cannot go to certain events like concerts or to the movies where there are lots of people or too much darkness. They do not drive or avoid it whenever possible. They are afraid to take what would be considered normal risks, they get stuck in their own lives routines, they do not progress forward and often feel they are overwhelmed and chasing their own proverbial tails. All of us have had some of these issues temporarily, but for people with the disorder this is their normal lives, more than it is not. It affects the function of their lives on a day to day basis.
In children it would be seen in more simpler terms since they do not own cars and drive, they do not do the grocery shopping, they are not making huge decisions, but they do go shopping, the do ride in cars, they do make simple decisions, like deciding what they want to do next, or what movie to watch. So it affects their daily lives, and getting a hold of it now is important or their lives will be as mentioned above.
So how do you deal with the anxiety monster that maybe in your home? When it is people you know that you don’t live with it is actually harder. Because of the fine line of being caring and enabling the problem, they will often not see your attempts to help them in the moment, and of course it makes it difficult when you must watch everything you say. But in your own home with your child at least there you are the boss.
Lavender, lavender, lavender!!
Can’t stress the value of it enough. We have sachets of lavender, lavender sticks and incense, candles, and an Airwick nightlight in Noah’s room that constantly releases the lavender. We also use moisturizers, and bath products that are infused with lavender, never underestimate the power of scent!
Kava Kava and Passion flower, both are natural extracts that can be added to teas and drinks that curb over active anxiety, sometimes this is more for those who do not have the disorder. Because people who have anxiety issues are like sponges, they can sense your mood very easily and even if you are not acting out yourself, they can tell when you are nervous. So keeping yourself in check is very important if you want to have some peace. Also having a healthy diet and regular activity is very important to curbing anxiety. The same types of things we all should do so we too are healthy.
Water therapy
Water is charged with negative IONS , much like the beach and the mountains are charged with them. And people who have medical issues are sometimes recommended to live in these types of locations because of the powerful effects of negative ions. Think about the last time you were stressed and then went to the beach. Chances are you felt significantly better once there. Water has this effect also, so taking longer and more frequent baths and showers help reset the system. Water activities, water parks, swimming, and even just playing in the sink a bit are all ways to use water therapy. Nowadays there are indoor pools and water parks so there is help all year round. If it was cheaper, it would be better, but you have to do what you have to do.
Lower your expectations
For children, it may take them longer to transition from one activity to another. This is because of the feeling of what is going to happen rising in them. Just be patient, let it take a bit longer, you have to pick your battles in autism. This is one that teaches the teachers to be more patient. Because NOTHING in life is about getting what we want when we want it, so that applies to every one of us. Not just the children we are teaching. You should have expectations, but do not set them so high that you will be disappointed and therefore your child is now being filled with even more anxiety. They still have bedtimes, chores, and homework, but your expectations of when these things happen needs to be flexible. Then they learn what that means so they can apply it to their lives also.
The sad part about anxiety is that people who suffer from it a lot of time can wind up in lower paying, less glamorous jobs that do not require an education. For getting a higher education is a very difficult task for someone who suffers with anxiety. All of the choices, the work to be done at the same time, the travel, all the new experiences alone can overwhelm the person. And often, these jobs are headed by people who also lack some kind of skill in their life or motivation. And they can exploit the person’s anxiety, because often people who have anxiety feel they are always wrong. A poor manager may yell at an employee in front of customers because this makes them feel better about themselves, because the person they are yelling at isn’t going to stand up for themselves in a way that will matter to the manager. They are embarrassing them, or trying too. This is why many anxiety suffers seem so defensive because they are sick of feeling that way so they lash out on whoever they are close to. It does not make it ok either, if you are being accosted by a friend or family member that has anxiety. You are not their problem; you are not their punching bag. You do not have take it, just tolerate it as much as possible and never ever take it to heart or personally. Because chances are whatever the case maybe that they are taking out on you is off, and not your problem and not anything you really need to hear about. But it is what it is; you are a bigger person by not holding that against them. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, but figure that you deserve more breaks and pampering to yourself for being that hero.
The bottom line
If your child is suffering from anxiety it is your place to do something about it, if it is a grown adult then it is their choice to do something about it. Grown adults can fall into two different categories, either they feel they can’t do anything about it, or they truly can’t do anything and they need to be institutionalized. Chances are they just do not believe they can do anything, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, then sick out medical help, support from groups on the internet, read books. talk about it!! If they are so far gone they do not know what a computer is, or how to make a phone call or their name or whether they are on planet earth or not, they need professional round the clock care. Because we all have it, we all have troubles; we all have things we need to improve. We also all have the ability to choose to fix and work on these things. Patience, tolerance, flexibility, and peace within you are the biggest arsenals against anxiety, and a little lavender wouldn’t hurt either.
C.Dagnelli author of Little Squares with Colors : A Different way to Look at Autism
Friday, February 19, 2010
It's not a cure, but it is the next best thing
When I decided to write a book about Noah and his Autism, I knew it wasn’t going to be a bible about how I cured him. Mainly because he is not cured, and I thought it was more important to feature how we function and accept it. Though it is true, we have improved the situation greatly from where it began we also do not know from one day to the next what kind of day he will have, and therefore what kind of day we all will have. We also do not know what the future holds and what kind of new problems will surface or even old ones we thought were just bad memories. This is why I choose to focus on the present, since only you and your place in it is in your control.
So a blog is a natural step, figures it makes sense to share the day to day, good and bad.
A typical day here involves my husband waking at about 5:40 for work, I usually awake then but do the best I can to squeeze another hour before Noah is up. From the moment I open my door I am greeted by our two golden retrievers Fred and Chewie, usually I hear their tails beating on the walls of the hallway with a steady rhythm once they hear me rouse from bed. Once I open the door the fun begins, Fred is usually holding something in his mouth and whining, Chewie and him are following me quickly anywhere I go…which is almost always the coffee maker where I make my mommy fuel. Next on the line of annoyance is Sami the cat, he is usually whining heartily for more food since he ate it all over night, or the bowl is just dangerously low. The final cog in the machine of annoyance is Noah, who is also very hungry and starving, and somehow has the ability to bounce around even though he just awoke. Most mornings he next gravitates to the computer. Which is where he spends the next hour and half before the bus comes to pick him up for school. Routine is breakfast there, he gets dressed around 8:30, and the bus is to come sometime around 8:45. Then it’s mostly peace and quiet until about 3:20, not completely because the dogs require a lot of attention and Fred really hates the cat across the street, he barks at it even when it is in its own driveway. But regardless, it is a very important part of the day that can be filled how I choose, and gives me much needed space to contemplate and complete the things that need to be done.
Every day with Noah is spent teaching him the things that typical children just understand or get on their own. Some days are much easier than others, and sometimes what can be the most shocking is when you don’t see the meltdown coming. Mostly because he was doing well, almost where you can forget he even has a problem.
There is nothing wrong in my opinion to look for a cure to a problem, condition or disease. But from what I can figure, is while science is out there trying its best to find a cure for Autism, maybe the only thing we can do is adapt to it. Accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can and have the wisdom to know the difference.
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