Monday, November 5, 2012

An open letter to my cats and dog

Dear ones I support and govern. I am sick and tired of your entitlement ways and dependency on me who governs you. Why can’t you go get your own food? Do you think just because you’re adorable and loving I should feed you, provide shelter and clean water? I think it’s time you pulled yourselves up by your bootstraps and started feeding yourselves, cleaning up your own filth and paying me more money for putting up with your lazy asses.

However, I also want to apologize for being pressured by society to take away your fertility, it was wrong of me as it should be up to god on how many litters you have and not us humans. Obviously we have plenty of room on this planet, and even if it gets a bit more populated, I can always put you on the roof of the car. More survival of the fittest you know. Sorry Gibson, you are the slow one, so we will miss you.  As far as veterinary care, I will no longer be making you go to the vet as who am I to tell you how to take care of yourself. If you want to get healthcare then get a job and walk yourselves to the vet.
                                                                  All you do is sleep and eat, you disgust me.

I will also not be spending any more time trying to educate myself in your care. Education is just a form of indoctrination and my time would be better spent making money.

Gibson, you in particular have to stop having these female or mommy tendencies, I know you weren’t born that way and I am obviously failing you as a pet-parent because you are not more male-like. So stop cleaning the kittens and taking care of them, if you love them too much they won’t be able to take care of themselves. And you will go to HELL!

Things will change; we will bring our household back to a time where there were fewer rules. You will be able to piss, poop, scratch and sit on anything you like. And Fred you can eat it all, since as I said we aren’t worried about going to the Vet anymore. You will be able to do whatever you want, but if I don’t like it I can shoot you at any time.
                      and don't try to be cute and give me that didn't work for that food.

There will be no more sharing of toys, beds or food.  Sharing is wrong, only the lucky can prosper, if you aren’t lucky you aren’t praying hard enough.

I know it isn’t all of you; it’s just about 47% of this furry bunch that thinks you are victims to humans.

Just remember I can wheel this power because I have opposable thumbs and you don’t know how to operate a gun.
 You can't fool me again, I gave you that toy first...okay it was given to me to give to you, but so what

Love and Kisses your human overlord

PS. Be sure to tell your fellow cats and dogs without homes that immigrate into our society that they are not real cats and dogs, but even bigger moochers then you guys. We here are going to start rounding them up and sending them back to Egypt (well the cats anyway).

Friday, October 26, 2012

It's been a while

It has been a long while since I have updated this blog. I wrote the following a few months ago and never finished it to get it on here. But today is a new day, and I decided while updating other sites I would do so on this one. I hope to build some momentum on here again.

 I spent a lot of time on my health, and with the idea of working smarter not harder. In the time since I last updated there has been some changes. Noah is more like a typical 7 year old, but he will be 10 in 10 days, wow. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years! He is doing so much better, is off the gluten free-casein free diet (minus yogurt and milk) and doing very well in school. He is interested in having us be proud of him.

Working on Health

This is necessary for so many of us. We take on more than we should, sometimes because there seems to be no other way. Sometimes because we just think we can. Maybe you are like me, and you tend to bite of more than you can chew, I find its best to do so, as long as you don’t’ mind spitting something out if you truly can’t chew it all. Pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zone is necessary for growth.

Goals I had were to make sure I exercised every day, drink enough water, get to bed so I can have 7-8 hours’ sleep, have a day of rest, and eliminate as much bread as possible(because I truly have issues digesting it, and its causing me inflammation). I like many of you know to do these things, and do them pretty consistently, but it still can be sporadic. Which means, sure you do all that you should for weeks or months on end, but then suddenly you have more on your plate, so what goes first, all the things you need to do to take care of yourself. Before you know it, a few months pass and you realize you have been barely drinking water, your sleep is disturbed, you are eating foods you can’t digest because they are there when you need them, and others aren’t there. You may be busy, sweating your butt off and having plenty of activity, but no fun exercise or decent consistent like you normally do.

So for one year, I wanted to make sure I did all those things, I got through most of September doing so. Then Joe got laid off and was home every day for a MONTH, screwing up my routine. Now he is working, but they are sporadic hours so it’s taking a lot of adjustment to find a routine in this small house. So some things are within my control regardless, but others, including work  or exercise which are in areas that we share or are equipment we share aren’t just when I want because I don’t live here alone.

Overall I made a lot of improvements, and I keep reminding myself I have to put myself on the list, it’s my job to do so and no one else’s. It’s my job to say no, and I am not in the position to help others until I help myself.

Working Smarter not harder

Most people work hard, and we should. But this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t think about ways to accomplish tasks more efficiently or find better paying work to cut back on some of the stuff that we have to spend more time on that pays less. I was grateful for the experience I received from some of the websites I write for, but needed to get more pay up front work. So I focused on more print work which pays much better than online. Hence, not seeing much here. (Since this pays pennies…but one day!)

I also made sure I was fully available for Noah, and anything related to the house. I need an organized and clean home, otherwise I get all stressed out.  When you work for yourself you are fully in charge of finding your work also, and anyone who does so will tell you, this is a task you do every day. Each day someone who has their own business or is their own contractor spends time finding more work, networking and just keeping their radar up. I have been fortunate where work has occasionally fallen in my lap based on someone reading an article and wanting to publish it in their magazine. But that doesn’t happen often enough to just rely on the maybe of it. Like all things, you need some luck, but mostly a lot of perseverance to see things through.

Friday, May 18, 2012

What They Don't Tell you About Autism

I spend most of my writing time discussing ideas, tips and advice regarding autism-parenting. And after writing over a hundred articles about the subject I began to think about all the aspects of autism we as writers (and even parents) don’t discuss. Overall your perception changes, and your view of the world. Nothing is black and white anymore. But it’s not so much that life is grey, but rather it’s multi-dimensional. You gradually accept you can’t understand what you don’t have a full understanding.  There may have been a time when you would jump to judgment over the bad things people do, politics, various reports and articles you read; but now you realize you don’t know the whole story. You realize knee-jerk reactions just contribute to problems and feed the same anger and hate, which people claim to be offended about.

Autism makes you more understanding, empathetic, and open minded. Autism can make you hyper-aware of behavior and motivations in people, children and even animals. This starts early on, when you are trying to reach your child. You have to tap into to your empathetic nature and you need to be open because it's the way in. From doing this you begin to realize your own judgments tell a story about yourself. You now know you don't have all the answers and no one does; you cannot understand what is happening in everyone else's lives since you aren't in their lives. Judgement is one of the first things you let go.

You become more observant to people’s idiosyncrasy and how everyone has quirks, sensory issues, stims and does things to help balance themselves. This leads to understanding addicts more, since those choices are fueled by imbalances in the brain. You understand yourself more, and all bad behavior in children. This isn’t just in the area of addiction, whether its smoking, drugs, alcohol, food or shopping, but all things.  Because you have this ability to understand without judgment you can then focus on the solutions, instead of the problems.

Autism helps your realize you will try almost anything, which leads to lowering your comfort zone for trying other new things. You can see how there were activities you would never consider before but now suddenly it seems silly to not try. Overall autism will make you more peaceful and more stressed out.

You will change what you believed about friendship. You will realize how much deeper it can go, how you will find friendship in places you may not have thought. You will bond with people who go through what you do. You will forgive people who you originally wrote off as a ‘bad friend’, but you will remember who to spend your limited time.

You will disregard some of your previous beliefs. This can even come in the area of your budgeting and financial attitude. You will change how your define responsibility. You realize there are more things you can do without than you ever thought. Clothing and shoes can last a lot longer than your realize, and furniture is more for function. Autism makes you more conservative with your resources, but more liberal with your love.

Things you took for granted before you no longer do. You will spend a lot of your time being grateful, you will spend a lot of your time feeling worried. You will feel uncomfortable about looking into the future; you may not look forward to things as you did before, not the feeling of excitement because you have been taught all new things are problems. But you will still find some peace in this; you will still feel happy if you let yourself.

You will cry for happiness and pride, and you will cry from frustration and stress.

You may find yourself at a loss of words at times to explain to others exactly why it is as challenging as it is. People will tell you to treat special needs kids like any other, but they aren’t like other kids. And you are no longer like other parents. The rules are different. Even with the similarities, the challenges of 20 children can never measure up to the challenge of one who is autistic. It’s a different world. Much of what you learned about social rules and benefits as being part of society, or as a parent are suddenly gone, those rules don’t exist. So the way you should expect to be treated by your child is gone, it doesn’t exist for you. You will not have what your friends have. But in essence, you will have more.

Autism isn’t a death sentence; it isn’t something horrible that happened to you or your child. It certainly doesn’t “wreck your life”, but it can wreck some moments. It is a challenge and it is completely ok to feel terrible about it at times, just like anything. As long as you let it go and do not let it become who you are.  One of my favorite quotations is by Maya Angelou, “I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.”

Your life is how you define it.