Noah has had sleep issues on and off for…well since birth. We did get it under-control this time last year after taking melatonin for a few months and being fortunate enough to take our first vacation. He was staying awake until midnight or later most nights, but once we started the melatonin he was going to sleep by 10 most nights. Since the clocks went back, it’s been a growing battle. Now the mornings are back to the joyous times of the past where he battles me about going to school, or wants me to build him a time machine.
I get the time machine request. He isn’t the only person I know who wishes to have more time, or wants to go back in time to make changes. Perhaps if he listened to me the evening before and went to sleep when requested, he would have woken at the normal time. But it isn’t all his fault. His body is wound up and restless. I get it since I had restless leg syndrome during my pregnancy-which is this creepy feeling in your legs where they want to run but are too tired to do so. Except it’s not just his legs, it is probably his whole body.
I have considered doing the melatonin again, but I know more occupational therapy is a better fit. Unfortunately his current OT can only work with him in school, and though she is practically magical, she is very pregnant and can’t toss him around like she normally does. I have no doubt she does the most she can with him. I have done occupational therapy with him over the years; however I am not as magical in that way. I also have limited time and energy because of necessity of work, which occupies just about every Noah-free-minute I have.
It is an annoying circle. Insurance doesn’t cover autism therapies, so you have to rely on the school or pay for it yourself. But to pay for it means you need more money. But if you already don’t have enough you need more work to pay for it. Yet there are only so many hours in the day, and if you burn yourself out trying to make the money. Then what is the point if you’re dead before your time or now in need of therapy yourself?
Regardless of the trials, I know the only thing I can do is keep moving forward. Staying positive is all you have sometimes, and being persistent is more important to finding success then most other things in this world. You have to figure for everyone who succeeds, someone else had to fail. This is why I keep going, one day it will be our turn, and we will be the ones who are fortunate and successful and it will be our jobs to help those who aren’t as fortunate yet.
But for now, I suppose I will give him a few more crashes and tickles, and some melatonin.
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