What We Learn When Times are Tough

What we learn when times are tough.

I see it often in the media where most of what ails people is often their own doing, and this is the case for any of us at times in our lives, we may feel very full from eating too much cheesecake, this was our own doing, but when we feel sick from eating cheesecake that was spoiled or contained an ingredient we didn’t know what there, it is not our doing. For hey, why should someone one always pass up the occasional delicious slice of cheesecake?

But sometimes I read and listen to these alleged experts and really wonder if they have ever experienced a bad hand of cards? Where things happened that had not to do with weak or poor character choices, that were not out of being indulgent or entitled, and were just simply crappy things. Like living in a tornado free zone but a tornado just took out your house.

I am not Talking About People who are Oblivious to Their Idiocy-They After all are Oblivious

I guess I believe people are a bit smarter than they are portrayed on television and in many articles; it is the very reason why I generally loathe the third person writing style. Too authoritative, and patronizing to some, though for certain pieces, it is absolutely the correct style.

I have had my share of growing experiences like anyone else; times that were tough, sometimes because of foolish decisions like pursuing someone who was not capable of being a kind boyfriend to anyone, and probably needed some therapy before he even attempted to have any pets…maybe fish would have been ok. I have also had to make choices where all of them were crappy and just tried to pick the least crappy choice, hence, crappy is still crappy. Like having to choose to refuse to help out with my troubled sibling and single parent, so that I could of continued going to college this way I would of already completed that PhD by now, instead it may take the rest of my life. It was a crappy decision and went with what felt right, but wasn’t what was right for me, this same issue has followed me around a bit, but I digress.


But I have also had tough times in numerous other ways, things that were not natural to me I had to learn to adapt to doing or achieving, and many other issues I am not going to get into for this piece. But the biggest bane to my existence now, the troubles I have now, have nothing to do with crappy decisions I have made, or were forced to make. They have all to do with crappy luck. and not receiving help from people who could help, but don’t want to , therefore making the situation worse.

What Really Matters When Life Sometimes Sucks Balls

It is how we handle those times, what we can learn from them. For me, I learned most recently that I have to put myself closer to the top of the list, because no one is going to take care of me. If my child, my husband and I all need underwear, it should not be that one or both of them get the underwear but I do not. Nope, we all go without until we all can have it, because we all deserve to have clean underwear equally. There is a fine line between being unselfish and being a martyr, I am glad that I have never known the demons that make a person so selfish and self-centered. I would say I am glad that I am who I am, but basically that deserves to be rewarded and not punished.


I realize what I normally do is burn out, I take on all the responsibilities I can, I take on more work than I am technically capable, and I cut out all the things that help a person function normally, then I am sick. I just don’t realize it at the time because I think well if I just keep going then I am capable, but really that should be after I have had adequate rest, been on a vacation of some sort, have been eating fresh health food, been committed to the physical exercise that my body demands or it revolts, and having time for friends and fun. Because we need all of these things to live a healthy life. What is the point of surviving it if means you will wind up with a terrible disease that may cause early death or a lifetime of care?



No one is Trying to Achieve Poor Health; even Under-Developed Nations Seek to be Healthy.

Otherwise we could all just sit around in our own filth all the time and not bother paying bills, because who cares?

I just get caught up with things like, wanting to keep on the electric, and the water, and paying my taxes, mortgage and insurances. But the fact is stuff sucks for us financially not because we made some poor choices, not because we spend too much money or consume too much, but because shit happens, and when it does you need help cleaning up the shit storm or it will just continue to stink.

I am grateful to have learned and unequivocally know certain truths about myself that have developed through strife and struggle. I am persistent, resourceful, adaptable, a hard worker, imaginative, gracious, thoughtful, and I have trouble knowing when to say no, not so much to people anymore, but too myself when I think it’s a great idea to try to have the fourth unsuccessful yard sale, forgetting how I don’t have that much stuff, or when I want to chain myself to my desk and be my own content mill, because hey I did churn out 20 articles over two days while Noah was not here. Of course I also didn’t eat, shower, exercise, answer the phone, watch any TV and only took a break to go the bathroom and get some water. (And even cut down on the water since it limited my time with unnecessary bathroom breaks)

Now I know, that sometimes shit storms happen, because it gives the people in our lives and even strangers the ability to be heroes, who am i to deny them that? It happens to make a person feel more capable and worthy, atleast it always did this for me.