Monday, May 17, 2010
Back in the Office
Once I was ready to go at it full time, Noah needed me more, and I still somehow managed to work alongside therapy and later therapists for him. I will never know how I did it.
However with Noah finally settled into a school routine, and eBay changing its complexion so much it is unrecognizable to people who have been there a long time. So much that it was actually going to cost me money to sell anything. I got out it, it took a year, but I got out. This past May I focused on writing the book
I have been working at the kitchen table, amongst giant piles of school papers from Noah, bills, IEP stuff, papers related to my book and my writing jobs and then all the other typical papers people have that run a household. The table was also home to things that haven’t found their home yet, menus, junk mail.
A year ago I chose to finish writing the book at the table, just because the desk I did have at the time wasn’t promoting the writing experience I needed due to lack of elbow room and the space restrictions. Big massive desk which was not designed for really doing much but house things and look good. It was pretty, but not functional, but it was what I had for the past 8 years.
Then after the summer we brought in some other furniture when my dad and friends were moving as well as storing some stuff, I got rid of the old desk but still needed a new desk. The office because of all this and the holidays, and all of the other things we were doing turned into a giant closet. I knew it would not stay that way once I got a desk and new filing cabinet (since the old one was so old the handles had broken off)Figured while I was saving for a desk I would just work in the kitchen. I guess at the time I didn’t anticipate it would take this long.
I still haven’t purchased a desk, but I still got one from my husband’s parents who came upon one somewhere, either they found it or had it at home and didn’t need it, either way, grateful it made its way to my house this weekend.
What a difference though it has made, everything can go back to its rightful place, and I am not competing with my own space in a kitchen that does not have enough counter space for making most meals, at least with the table back it is better.
The point being, I am patting myself on the back because of all I have accomplished despite not having a viable work area, and being surrounded in chaos both figuratively with the papers, and literally with Noah and animals. Despite that, the normal challenges and not so normal, the numbers being what they are I have still managed to get up every day and continue to try, I have written almost 50 articles in the past two months, wrote a book and have been promoting it all by my little self with no help from anyone.
So now that I have received this desk, and got my office back, I feel lighter, and more focused. I realized through our own crisis I have mostly handled it well, mostly. Overall I try to stay focused on the solution rather than the problem, but I have focused on the problem more than I should. But now, I feel even freer of it. I have been telling myself to not think about aspects that I can’t change, my taxes, mortgage are what they are, food costs what it costs, being very conservative in all these aspects is still; what it is..so let it be. There will be an answer, let it be.